Oct 18, 2012

Pushing the "Eject Button"

I was reading an article today about how Kate Gosselin (those of you reading this more than a year from now, Kate was on a TV show about how her and her then-husband were raising their 8 kids. Then she got a divorce and the show got cancelled. Typical hollywood story, right?) was fired from her blogging job.

Now, right after I shook my head in shock - "People have blogging JOBS?" - I went over and actually READ her blog. With a sort of train wreck fascination, I read mostly through the comments, and was horrified cruelly amused by the reactions, which pretty much ranged from "about time they fired that phony!" to... well, okay, that was actually pretty much the full range of responses.

I'm not even being hyperbolic here - people seemed to legitimately HATE that woman - a woman they've never met, and, granted, neither have I. Maybe she's a jerk. Maybe she's a phony. I really have no idea, and, to be honest, I've not really seen enough to care either way. But it did get me to come up with a really funny idea for a new reality television show.

We'd call it "Eject Button", and it would consist of a weekly hour show featuring about 10 people who are nominated from the entirety of the nation. Sure, there'd be an elaborate process which would weed out the people who were just local yahoos or flash-in-the-pan turdheads, leaving us with really the cream of the crap. (Heh. I'm enjoying that little pun I did there.)

So, basically, if you cut me off in traffic and flip me the bird, you're not going to end up on the show, even if I nominate you. But cut off a few hundred people, and you might make the first round of cuts. I'm just saying.

Anyway, those ten people will have five minutes to pitch - in whatever manner they like - their case to be embraced back into the loving arms of American society. And all of the viewers watching can then vote by cell phone or online to determine who they hate the most. The person receiving the least votes (meaning that they are hated the least) is dropped from the show. The next week, the nine remaining contestants have another chance, and voting ensues, and so on.

There might be an appearance by the Friday girl, singing her latest (assuming she isn't the winner? Yeah, I went there.), Ryan Seacrest may host it (assuming... Yeah, you know where I'm going there.), and I'm pretty sure Simon Cowell would be unavailable to host it due to a conflict of interest. But you never know, he's been off the air for a while, maybe people like him again.

Eventually, we are left with one person - the person hated by the most votes. And that person is then rewarded as the Most Hated Person in America.

The only thing left is what they would win as a result? A free trip into space? A one way ticket to the Ukraine? A lifetime supply of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? We'll let our sponsors come up with something clever.

So while I was busily making notes about this, I realized I would totally watch a show like this - - - and, a moment later, realized I WAS watching a show like this.

Only, it's called the Presidential Debates.


(author note: okay, in fairness, I do actually like ONE of the candidates, mostly. But doesn't it just feel like it's all turning into a case of which candidate do you absolutely HATE? Hmm. Okay, no more politics for me. What's on the DVR?)

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