I don't really want to empower the negative energies that seem associated with this day, but I'm having trouble with the rest of my writing, so I suppose I should just get it out and get back to work.
Ten years ago. It's really been that long, yes. Crazy times.
I remember that we were at that time banning cable tv in our house. So in the middle of the afternoon, when my mother called, shocked, we didn't know what she was going on about.
"They blew up the trade center!" she was saying.
I thought she was kidding. Bad prank, I thought.
I was finally able to pull up a few random pages on CNN - the site was almost completely shut down by traffic - and realized that it was true. The buildings were gone. Gone.
Our daughter was at that point less than a year old. Not walking, not talking, not really doing much of anything, as young infants are known to do. Drooling, sleeping, eating, pooping, crying - that was the bulk of her activities back then. But all I kept thinking, as the reality was sinking in, was "why did we bring a child into THIS world?" It was a dark, sad moment.
Then we went to war.
Nation regimes were changed, a lot more people were killed, and it still goes on. "911" is now some sort of strange rallying cry, a touchstone of philosophy and political debate, used like a shield behind which people may seek defense for their opinions or decisions, or use like a hammer against those who might disagree with them.
There is no debating that it was a tragic day in the history of the United States, regardless of your feelings on whether it was a cause or an effect or both. It was what it was.
My heart goes out to all the people who either died in the attack, as a result of it, or those who war in its name.
I don't know what more, really, to say about it. There are so many feelings I have about this, but so many remain unfiltered and unresolved in the vast wasteland of my subconscious. It's something that will, in large part, require additional waiting. But today seemed a good day to pull it up and dust it off, even if only for a short while.